A leader is someone with courage, strength, responsibility, determination and many other qualities. Within tribes, the leader is usually an elderly man, who has gained a lot of experience.

I have been in a foster family for about 3 years now. Before that I lived with my mother - a woman, whose own mother was over-protective and caring, not realizing in doing so that she was depriving her daughter of personal experience, responsibility, decision-making capacity and independence. As a result, my mother did not know how to cope with life, she was powerless and was waiting for others to help her. She used to regularly send me and my elder sister to neighbours and other acquaintances to beg for money. We did not like it, but mom made us do it. In these moments, my grandmother felt sorry for us and would give us some money. We were then giving the money to mom in order to avoid her throwing all her frustration back at us.

Once, when my mom’s birthday was approaching, my grandmother had given us money. Together with my elder sister, we decided to buy cigarettes as a gift for our mother as we felt this is the one thing that soothed her. But when we did, she thought we were mocking her.

Time passed, we grew bigger, and with it our reluctance to walk into people's homes and beg for cigarettes and money grew as well. After the death of our grandmother, mom did not want us to live in the house any longer. This was probably because of the disagreements between her and our aunt for the property. We lived in rented apartments that were of course, more expensive than we could afford. Back then, I did not realize how things were. I was a little child who preferred to hide in books, where I could create a portal, far from reality.

Now, several years later, all this is far behind me, in the past. I remember it because I want to remember where I came from, what I went through and what I have accomplished. The reason why I am in a foster family is not only the financial situation of my mother and the eagerness of people from leasing houses whom she owed money to get it back from her in a manner which cannot be seen as peaceful, but rather as directly aggressive. The other reason was her inability and unpreparedness for life. I do not blame her - I know that this is what she inherited from her mother, who in turn has learned from her own mother and so on, generation after generation wandering in search of the right path.

But I know for sure that by me ending up here, I have been given a chance to turn things and my future around. I can boldly state that thanks to my foster mother everything around me has changed. The tiny closed-off and hunched girl who grew up as a shadow without any dreams, hopes or faith is now gone.

Every mother loves her children. Our mother loved us too, but somehow in my mind, when I go back to my childhood, I can’t find a memory in which she embraced me with warmth and affection. I remember such an embrace from the mother of a classmate of mine.

Now, I am a child that is building her character, I am searching for myself, I have a home, a family, warmth, love, friends. I have everything! I have learned to express an opinion, to dream, to love, to appreciate, to desire, to create. I have made many mistakes while learning important life lessons.

Some time ago in this family there was another girl. She taught me how to recognize who my true friends are. She was always there for me, even though I did not deserve it. She was and remains my first friend. And now, when she is adopted billions of kilometers from us, only now did I realize the mistakes I made and how good of a teacher she was to me. Naturally, our foster mother has the merit for all this as well. The woman who showed me a new world where love, understanding, care and all other virtues stand on a pedestal. I started to live a new life and, like a newborn I look at everything with interest.

At the beginning I used to fib, I would hide my school transcripts, I held the broom with both hands, I would break dishes, and I tried to please until I realized that understanding and support are what rules here. I’ve learned to recognize what is right and to apply it and I do not have to fib anymore. I have started to like that, I feel good. I began to love myself and found that I already have friends. I started to gain experience, to implement my ideas. I started to learn many things. I am no longer interested in what others say. I am myself, and if in a given situation I have done something unacceptable in someone else’s eyes, it was because it just had to happen.

I learned that everything happens for a reason.

Some time ago my mother passed away. I am not saying that it was easy for me, but my foster mother, the other child, and the people around us were by my side and gave me strength. In other words - there was a reason for me to be here now, because if this had happened while I was still living with my mother, I would not have been able to handle it.

Here I became strong, confident, persistent and brave.

I am also emotional and express my feelings. While writing all this, I am jumping around with joy, not only because I gathered all my story here, but because I am presenting it in a way which is brand new for me. New, because I look at the past from another perspective, I do not live there – I am here and now. New, as I previously tried to be loyal to my mother, but I have come to realize that the main ingredient in life is the truth and for a bit of flavour you need to add a few pinches of positive emotion too.

My mother has made wrong choices, but I do not blame her. Now that I realized that there are other paths I will walk in another direction. When a tiny person comes to life, their example and role model is their mother. The child follows her everywhere, but there comes a time when that child starts walking on their own and then everything is different - before them a brand new door opens, which is a new opportunity. By crossing the threshold, the child starts to explore, recognize, choose, make mistakes and gain experience.

For example: It is winter. Your child is playing near the fire. They burn themselves. On the next day, the child plays by the fire again. The child looks at his finger and says, "No, this hurts. I will not play here". After this point a good leader would show them a safe distance. But at the same time, after a certain time the leader would encourage and support the child in knowing and mastering the power of fire that is so necessary for their life.

But when a mother, in her desire to protect, comes out running, tells the child to go play in another room, then it will not know why it is being isolated - ignorance and fear will lead it through the rest of its life. This is what happened to my mother, my grandmother and so on… for many generations back.

This will not happen to me! Because a good leader has entered my life. A leader who has been well prepared. A leader who has opened her heart to me. And starting from scratch, has helped me to start trusting. After this, in my mind, the traumas of the past were replaced by warm and beautiful days.

This leader is my foster mother!