А conversation with Miroslav Dolapchiev, father of two girls and foster parent, happily married, happy looking and an inspiration for many young families.

Please introduce yourself with a few words

I have been happily married for 7 years to my gorgeous wife Doyni (who is Romanian), we have a girl named Clara who is 4 years old and now we are fostering a girl who is 1 year and 5 months old. I manage a group of companies offering complete engineering solutions for buildings, which operates in several countries. At the same time I lead a group of families from the Evangelistic Christian Church, of which my wife and I are a part. I make seminars about marriage, which challenge Bulgarian families to develop and enrich themselves. I think of myself as a man who loves and seeks challenges and is enriched by them. And by the way I am 32 years old.

What does being a foster parent mean to you?

Hard question. Strong beliefs – what makes you do this, what motivates you? People have different reasons, but for me the main one is to give a chance, to help a child. This is a above all a cause, a responsibility or even just a need in society that has to be met. Foster care is the most sensible alternative to institutional care.

Why is the foster care important to your family?

This is part of our contribution towards the positive development of the society in which we live. I know that these children (and not only they) need love and when I have the opportunity to do something about this, I think it’s my duty to do so. I want my child to grow up knowing the meaning of giving love and being loved.

Has your life changed? What about the life of your family?

Yes, definitely, at the moment our responsibilities are much greater, not only as parents, but also because of the fact that you are also responsible for this child in front of other people. You have rights, but you also have responsibilities that are sometimes an obstacle and at other times are in support of what you are working toward. Just the fact that there is another person in the house changes the dynamics of our relationships.

Is it hard to be a foster parent? 

Yes, it is, but being a parent is hard in general, no matter whether you’re a foster parent or not. The challenge to be in the life of a kid whom everyone cares about and, at the same time no one is interested in is quite big.

Does it feel good to be a foster parent?

It feels good, of course, but not always. As with every other challenge, parenthood has its good and not so good moments; the important thing is the final goal and the result of what you’re doing.

What is the difference between having a biological child and a foster child?

I started finding the answer to this question very recently, from the moment when the child got into a critical situation. I thought to myself about the number of people and institutions you are responsible in front of for its life as a whole. For your kid you’re responsible only in front of yourself and God, but for the foster one it’s very different. This can bring a huge amount of stress and tension at certain moments.

The three things you would tell your best friend if he said that he has decided to become a foster parent?

The most important thing for me is the motivation. What motivates someone to accept somebody else’s child into his home? If he has the right motivation and then a solid preparation, I know that he would have big chances for success. The third thing is related to a constant support, I would recommend that he use all possible professional support throughout the whole period - from the filing of the application throughout the whole period in which the child will be with him.

The most important thing that you found out about yourself when you became a foster parent? 

It’s as if the most important things become more and more with every other day. I’ve known for quite a long time about myself that I’m not particularly detail oriented, I like solving things on a large scale – that’s how I am at my job and in my family, but now I realise that when you have someone in your life for whom you’re responsible in front of so many people, every single thing, even the smallest detail, matters. I hope that this will change me for the better.

What would you like other people to know about foster care?

Foster care is a responsibility and a privilege. As part of this society the children who are deprived of parental care are our responsibility, no matter whether this seems right to us or not. I don’t think of myself as a very good person or as a hero; therefore, I see it as a privilege that I get to accept this child into my home. I want people to know that they can also handle this responsibility.

Describe your foster-daughter with a few words?

Smart, cautious and strong. She gets sad and offended very easily. There is a lot of talent in this kid, I hope that she will be able to grow in an environment, in which she can develop it.

Now describe your biological child? 

Clara is very smart, incautious and veeeery stubborn. I thought I was patient before she was born, but every day with her is a challenge for us. Despite all this her stubbornness is a trait in her character that we strongly encourage and foster. 

How does a perfect day with both of them, with the whole family, look like?

Well, they are asleep and I’m watching football (joke). When we’re outside it’s always great, the kids love to run around freely and my wife and I walk and talk to each other.