A story, which will come true one day… 

“Believe it or not he was intelligent as well!” Many women around the world dream of such a moment, and for me it actually came true, at an old age no less. I looked triumphantly at the stunned adults in my wake. From the very first day I set foot in the retirement home, I tried my best to explain to my peers that I have many children, but they are spread around the world and that one day they would come to visit me – all of them at once. Judging by their ironic smiles, I realized I was repeating the most popular story here, but what else did the elderly have left but their dreams and, maybe, embellishing a little. Nobody believed me. Well, who has “senile dementia” now? It happened to me! Ha-ha – any comment! It was an undeniable fact. One of my children reached out a hand to lead me to the window, through which the cries of “Happy Birthday to you!” of the others and their families could be heard.  

What is so happy about a Birthday when you are turning 80? I couldn’t understand. After a certain age, people should offer their condolences instead of congratulations. Nevertheless, it was worth it to see my most precious people all at the same place gathered from all parts of the world… in honor of me, of my birthday!

“I lead!” – came that prompting voice once more and I looked toward the outstretched hand, combined with a beautiful, encouraging smile. All of a sudden everything spun into a blur and I was transported to the same situation, except now the words “I lead” were coming from me and I was the one reaching out to a timid 4-year-old boy that hesitated for a second but then grabbed my hand and made his first steps out of the orphanage to the real world. The boundless reality of an unimaginable world was waiting for him beyond the fence. During the adjustment and acquaintance period he would often stand at exactly the same place, unable to step over it. He used to stare at an old abandoned yellow bus parked nearby with sadness and resignation and say “I want to go there”. His eyes could look no further and he had no doubt that the whole world ended right there – at the spot where the yellow bus was parked. “I lead!” – I took his hand and never let it go again, not until he became a strong and independent man.

The same happened with my other foster children. They all have families now, they are all confident and happy… and they are singing “Happy Birthday to you” in front of the window of the retirement home… “You lead!” came my voice, distant and low, like that of a phone operator. I reached out my trembling hand to him so he could take me to the window where I could see all my children, perhaps for the last time…

The sight was beautiful and it was all worth it. The world started spinning and flying around me with immeasurable speed once again. It all came flying back, children’s smiles, dolls, tears and skinned knees, sleepless nights, separations, telephone conversations, photos, ambulance sirens, more smiles and more tears and… Oh, my! You lead!

Author: Maria Blagoeva, foster parent.