I appeared on this world on 19.12.1987. My life started with action and a fight for survival from the very first moment. I had to learn fast – not everyone was born with equal chances for success. My mission was to prove that everyone could earn the place they wanted in this world. Unachievable, right?!

Ever since I was little I was in someone else’s hands. As far as I know I was in “Maichin Dom” (the largest maternal ward in the country) I was left there by my biological mother but I still do not know the details. I have memories from my childhood of being placed in a children’s home in Dragalevtsi neighborhood in Sofia. Children from 1 to 7 years old lived there until they started their education. In this period my mother appeared, but her custody rights were taken away. She was not allowed to take me out of the social home. She could only visit me there.

What I am writing I know from the educators at the home. There was a time when the director allowed my mother to take me out of the institution. I was scared and did not want to go with her, I was crying and shouting, but they let her take me out. I did not want to be with this person. With her I was in a foreign environment and I did not feel well there. I looked at my mother as if she were a stranger, nothing stirred in my soul when I would lay eyes on her. I did not live under good conditions when she took me out of the home. I went through a lot. I was starving, we had no electricity or bathroom to take a shower in.

One day the police came to our door and took my mother and me to Toni – the person who had given my mother shelter, because of me. He is a cobbler. He was not a bad person – that is how I remember him, but he did not have a family and did not know what it was like to take care of someone and be the man of the house. He had an alcohol addiction. During my stay in his house I was constantly hearing shouts and curses. That drove me crazy, but he has never hit me, unlike my mother. She hit me once, because I told her she was not my mother. But let me get back to my story. After the police took us to Toni they left me there, but my mother was taken away with the police car.

I lived with Toni for a while, he was working and I was left alone all day with a piece of pastry and a small cake. I was 8 years old. Toni went out at 8 in the morning and was out until 20:00 in the evening.

There was a light in this period, something that made me happy. I will never forget grandma Lenche, this old lady fed and took care of me, I would play with her grandson Victor, I spent the whole day in their house – not far away from ours.

One day something different happened, I did not know you had to lock your home and then go out. I was at home and I had a watermelon, which I was about to eat. I was happy and calm that day. Then I heard that someone was going up the stairs, I went out and saw Lazar and his sister – our neighbors, who were older than me. Their family was very poor and parents and children would all work wherever they were called for a job. They invited me to go swimming at a river dam with them.

I did not expect anything bad to happen, I could not protect from people, because I did not suspect they could be bad. I could not say that I had good and caring parents, but people I met were rather good to me. I went with them and then it happened, the event I will not and cannot forget. Lazar tried to rape me. I could not protect myself, I was in the hands of God! Things worked out miraculously for me and I was saved from this violence – their father, who was very angry, appeared. Lazar ran out and hid in the house where I lived. His father brought him out and beat him. I told no one about what had happened, but whenever I saw him I had an odd feeling.

In the meantime, grandma Lenche, this sweet woman, had taken the destiny of a lonely child to heart and gone to the municipal authorities to tell them my story. A few days later child protective services took me back to Dragalevtsi. I was already old enough for first grade. I stayed there for a few months and then I was sent to “Ran Bosilek” home – there were children from 7 to 18 years old there.

My life was spent in this institution – I knew both hell and heaven. I was a little white kid with big cheeks, which every educator wanted to pinch. I was a well-liked child. Most of the children had a Roma background, Bulgarian children could be counted on the fingers of one hand. I was in good hands, my teachers Tsanova and Veselinova were really devoted to their work, gave their all and took a good care of me and the whole class.

I was often given presents by people who wanted to adopt me, but at that time children could not be adopted by another family if their mother had not given up her rights first. They had no legal right to put me up for adoption, that was the law. It was just fate. I have no idea what would have happened if some other people had adopted me – would it have been for the better or worse. I still think about it sometimes. But I know how I did, what kind of a person I have become and I do not feel bad. This is my destiny, to manage on my own with the help of good people.

Back to the story. I finished the 4th grade and my peers and I were to be moved to another school with normal kids (ha, look at how I expressed myself, and I did not even meant to say “normal”, but I did) with families, supposedly, to familiarize us with a normal environment. Supposedly being the operative word. There were many things I was not aware of in 5^th grade. I did not know what a class teacher was and what it was like to bring textbooks to school. There was a canteen at the school, but I had no money. I watched other children being dropped off by their parents by car, while I came from the institution. Once again I was lucky and had the opportunity to be in good hands, in the hands of my class teacher Lilya Koleva, who did not have children of her own, we were like children to her, she was a good person. She was absolutely dedicated. During the vacations she would take me and one of the other children, who had been good, to her house.

I was a nervous child, would get angry easily and start crying. I hated it when someone would lye or steal and always acted fairly. I was somewhat of a leader. I would bring in discipline. I did not keep quiet about anything I found wrong and it was probably not easy for my class teacher, but she might have respected me for this quality. I have no idea if this was the case, but I was a frequent guest at her house.

My story is not that of a child with a careless childhood but my memories from that time are not bad - I did not have it bad in those years. I liked my bed, I liked the children that I was surrounded by even though they had darker skin, I had a roof above my head, warm food and no one got drunk and shouted. I can state that this still has an influence on me. To this day, whenever I hear someone shouting or arguing loudly I still cannot stand it.

One day I asked my teacher why I was in the home. I have a mother and I remember what she looks like, I remember where and how I lived. I did not know if I wanted to go back to her, but I also had no idea why I was in the institution. She told me that she would explain when I was older. An enormous interest arose in me. I was a curious kid and felt there was a mystery here. I decided to find out what was going on with or without her help. One day, by chance, I saw all the records and files for each one of us in the home. The educators trusted me and would leave their bags and the keys of our study room to me. One day I decided to enter the forbidden room. It was wrong but I had to know! I entered and searched for my name, found my file and opened the folder. I started reading, but my educator caught me, she got very angry and took the folder away.

I managed to read that my mother had been caught and sent to prison for petty theft several times. She had been in the women’s prison in Sliven. I did not know much back then, I did not know the world, I was not aware of its rules, laws or order. We were living behind a fence and would cross it only if we were being taken somewhere. I did not know Sofia and its streets, I was now aware why I was not with my mother.

Time passed, I grew up and had to leave the institution. My mother was out of prison, I was 17 years old and had to go and live with her, but I did not want to. I begged to stay for a little while longer, but no one heard my words or saw my tears. I left crying and against my will. I was brought back to the same old place with no electricity, water or bathroom. I was in the eleventh grade and had one more year until graduation. I had to go to school even though I had no money for a ticket or food. My desire to be with my classmates was so strong that I would go out and not want to come home. This is why I found a job. I worked late after school. I would go home and go straight to sleep. This was my daily routine until I graduated. This moment finally came, I graduated and wanted to continue my studies. I went to the National Sports Academy and to the student dorm. I wanted to play sports, I loved playing football. I knew I could count on myself and I wanted a good life. I believed that I had to work hard to succeed. I would make it.

I was selected to continue my studies at the National Sports Academy, which made me very happy! I managed to get accommodation and my new life began. I graduated with a bachelor degree and then continued with a master. I graduated quickly and managed to find a job, related to my studies as a physical education teacher. I wanted to work with children, to pass on and teach them the lessons I had learned, albeit the hard way.

Nothing had the power to make me give up on my dream of a good future and the good, meaningful life I am building right now. I love helping people in need, taking part in charity campaigns, being a volunteer in helpful missions, gaining knowledge, experience, meeting new people and getting to know life.

I am 27 years old today, I work as a teacher in a Sofia high school and everything I do I do with love and dedication.

I became an individual, I want the best for myself, I want to earn a living with honest work so that I can go to bed with a smile on my face and wake up with one every morning.

My moto is “I CAN AND YOU CAN”. No one should ever give up on the opportunity to give themselves a chance. No matter what one’s destiny is, they can change it. It is hard but not impossible.